16 Dad Jokes You Should Never Use

So Father’s Day is around the corner and as we think of the many memories, moments and good times we share with our dads, I am sure that there is one common thing that most of us would “fondly” remember – their jokes. Like it or not, it is no doubt that “Dad jokes” have become a popular topic on the Internet. Unfortunately, the jokes usually stay there.

So in case you’re thinking of using some Dad jokes to break the ice at the party, take my advice – don’t. I promise you, you will instead expand the ice and make the atmosphere in the room so cold that your friends would have to visit the North Pole to feel warm. Here are 16 Dad jokes you should never use.

1. I gave away all my dead batteries today… free of charge.

2. A clown held the door open for me; I thought it was a nice jester.

3. Last night, I dreamed about drowning in a sea of orange soda. Thank God, it was just a Fanta sea.

4. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

5. I shouldn’t have eaten that seafood. Now I feel a little… eel.

6. A man tried to sell me a coffin; I told him it was the last thing I need.

7. I asked a French man if he played video games. He answered “Wii”.

8. Did you hear about the new restaurant on the Moon? There’s great food but no atmosphere.

9. Who is the king of the pencil case? The ruler.

10. I am terrified of elevators. I am going to take steps to avoid them.

11. Why can’t you have a nose that is 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

12. I used to dislike facial hair; but then it grew on me.

13. What did the “officer” molecule say to the “suspect” molecule? “I got my ion you.”

14. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

15. Why didn’t I put the cat out? It wasn’t on fire.

16. I wouldn’t buy anything with Velcro on it. It’ll be a total rip-off.

And I wouldn’t tell any Dad jokes to anyone; it’ll be a complete turn-off. 😄 Hahaha. Jokes aside, to all the fathers reading this, we still love you! Don’t stop being who you are and I wish you an early Happy Father’s Day. 😎

Advertisements

My Favorite Comedians

Just for Laughs: My favorite personas from the world of TV and the Internet come in the form of talented human beings that never fail to bring comedy to a whole new level. Here are some of them and their most popular features that I have enjoyed – over and over again.

1. Jimmy Fallon

Who doesn’t know the multi-talented Jimmy Fallon? Being one of the most successful talk show hosts right now, you can always count on him and his show to have creative segments that bring laughter like no other. Some popular ones include Lip Sync Battle, Egg Russian Roulette and of course Arm Wrestle as shown above. It’s always funny to see celebrities fooling around on the show, but it’s also because Jimmy has done a great job bringing out those comedic sides of them.

youtube  The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon

2. Conan O’Brien

Conan is the funniest talk show host with an awesome sense of humor. His spontaneous jokes and hilarious comments are the best! Just watch the Clueless Gamer clip above and you’ll get what I’m talking about. And you should probably check out his “Remotes” with some celebrities and his staff on his channel. Non-stop laughter follows.

youtube  Team Coco

3. Key & Peele

Of course, talk show hosts aren’t the only ones with a great sense of humor. There is also that group of people born to do comedy. Key & Peele belong to that group. They are so talented in this area! They can speak in any kind of accent, act as any kind of role and make you laugh in any way possible. Which is really sad that their show on Comedy Central is coming to an end. Just watch their most viral video above and you’ll wish it isn’t.

youtube Comedy Central

4. Batdad


Let’s get off YouTube for a bit, shall we? Comedians do not necessarily need to be talk show hosts or born for comedy. They can come in the form of a father who likes making silly videos with his family. And that is exactly who Batdad is. Whilst imitating Batman, this man “bonds” with his family in hilarious ways. Haha just take a look at the video above, which depicts typical situations his wife would face daily.

vine  Batdad   facebook  Batdad

5. Eh Bee


Talking about families, there is one family that is extremely cool and hilarious – the Eh Bee family. Literally every single one of them, including the dad, the mom, the son and the daughter have a flair for comedy. None of them outshines the others, and as a family, they bring joy to not just themselves, but to many. What a fun environment to grow up in!

vine  Eh Bee   facebook  Eh Bee

6. GXT Productions

The last comedians I’m going to be talking about today are closer to home. In fact, it’s GXT! “Gao Xiao Tuan”, which means the group that brings laughter, is an in-house comedy production run by young people in my church! They never fail to bring laughter in creative ways every single time, be it on Easter, Christmas or our annual Academic Excellence weekend! Check out their latest video above, which was first shown a couple of months back during AE.

youtube  GXTproductions

I hope you had a good laugh over the course of reading this post, and I’ll see you in the next one!