10 Jokes Per Minute #2

A few weeks ago, I shared with all of you 10 jokes that can make you laugh (or angry) in approximately one minute. And since quite a few of you responded “pretty well” to it, here I am with the second edition of 10 Jokes Per Minute! lol


1) What do you call security guards at a Samsung store? Guardians of the Galaxy.

2) My friend asked me if I liked her new glasses. I told her “it’s quite a spectacle!”

3) The police came to my door to tell me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. “No they aren’t,” I said. “My dogs don’t even have bikes.”

4) Why do the riot police like to get to work early? To beat the crowd.

5) How do self-absorbed people screw in a light bulb? By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them.

6) I wanted to tell you a joke about the iPhone’s headphone jack. But they told me to remove it.

7) What do you call dogs underwater? Sub woofers.

8) I don’t trust people who use graph paper. They’re always plotting something.

9) I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it. It’s true, I saw it with my own eyes.

10) Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me. It means a lot.


And thanks for reading this too. It means a lot… I think! Haha! 😂

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Alive

Hi everyone. Today, I have officially existed for two decades! 😄 Haha, I know that’s an unconventional way to put it. But more than just growing another year older, I also realized this year that I have been a Christian for a quarter of my life! 5 years ago, I stepped into Heart of God Church as a 15 year-old boy and my life truly began.

It’s funny because you can be breathing physically and yet not really be alive. As I looked back on the past 5 years, there’s just so much to be thankful for – my church, my friends, my family, those are just some people I never want to take for granted.

But if there is just one person that I need to mention and thank on this day, it would have to be Jesus. Over the past 1800+ days, God has changed my life so much and given me a purpose and a destiny greater than myself.

The reason why I could elevate my mindset, grow in my character and change as a person from the inside out is because of Jesus. Without His grace, I would never have become who I am today. I mean 5 years ago, I would have never thought I will be writing like I am now!

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 6:23

So today, I just want to thank Jesus. I am a sinner and I never deserved the life that I am living now – the life that He has given me. But that is what grace is all about, isn’t it? We were all doomed for death because of our sins. We had no choice; we had to go down the pit; we didn’t deserve life. But He still came for us, showed His love for us on the cross and pulled us out of the darkness.

I never once regretted having known and accepted this amazing grace & love that our God has for us. Because now, I am no longer in captivity. I am no longer a prisoner held in chains. I can now have the ability to let Christ cleanse me from all unrighteousness and come into an intimate relationship with Him.

Grace does not say “I am allowed to sin”; grace says “I am free to change.” His overwhelming love for us does not remove our necessity to lead a holy life – it gives us the freedom to do so!

Grace does not give us the license to sin; grace gives us the power to change. That is why I want to change and grow in my character – because with God, I can. And think about it, anything that is alive and healthy grows. 

Today if you have never known the love of Jesus, the empowerment of His grace and the joy in being in a relationship with Him, know that you can have all of it. Don’t just breathe. Live. Eternal life is about this relationship of knowing Jesus. And today, it is a free gift that He is extending to you. But like I said, gifts have to be accepted. So the question is, will you take it? :)

Fire in a Forest

There exists a vast forest named Heart.
It is home to beautiful trees, rivers and wildlife.
But deep within these woods also lived horrible beasts.
Hiding among the shadows, they work to hunt down their prey.
Especially so in the dark of Night.

I live in this forest.
Encountering these beasts many times I have,
But somehow their attacks I survived.
Bruised and frightened I may have been, but still I am barely alive.

It was my forest, yet I could do nothing to protect it
From the darkness that haunts it.
The darkness that never belonged here.
No matter how hard I fought, I lost more than I won.

Sometimes I would look at the goodness of the forest
And wonder if it was created or kept by a Higher Being.
If He exists and had the power to make it this way,
He would have the power to rid me of my predators.
I was weak, but was I alone?

One day I came to the center of the forest.
There I found a desolate campsite.
There I met the Keeper of the forest.

At the camp, He lit a Fire.
A campfire it was that would keep the beasts away.
A fire of Light, Warmth and Safety.
I was finally free from the grasp of evil.
But not for very long I fear.

Before He departed, the Keeper left me with these words,
“The fire can only burn for so long before it dies out.
Call out for me anytime.
I will surely answer and come back with Firewood
That will last you for the coming days.”

These Words I kept and Him I sought daily.
In the darkest of Night and in the brightest of Day.
Sometimes I think that I do not need Him or His fire in the Day.
But I brushed those thoughts aside in gratitude to Him.

As I kept His Word, He kept His promise.
No matter how dark it gets in the Heart,
The Wolves of Lust, Bears of Ferocity
And Serpents of Lies have no power over me.

How have I survived thus far?
Because never once did I ever walk alone.
As long as I have the Keeper,
I will have a fire no darkness can extinguish.